Thursday, May 28, 2009

"fatty, fatty, two by four, can't fit through the classroom door"

I considered a post about my diet a few weeks ago but work and a blooming toddler quickly take my mind off of personal creativity. She wrote about her own situation and it encouraged me to jot my thoughts down before I type another report or change another diaper. It's amazing how quickly the brain fails after 30 a baby.

So here it is.

A few of my friends have commented about my weight. Of course these are the closest friends because no friend on the fringe would dare broach the subject. Fringe friends don't talk about issues unless it's the canceling of a beloved show or a new hair style hot on the market. Discussing anything deeper would only elicit sharp glances with piercing eyes.

"I don't get it!" He said. "You drink water all the time, you don't really eat that much .... I just don't get it!"

He's right. I do drink water all the time. And when it comes to normal food, normal meals, and regular portions in public ... I am oh so good about how much I eat. So in his eyes I should be a toothpick with legs!


There are many reasons boiled down to one that keep me away from mirrors these days: I eat too much. I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm depressed. I eat because I love food. I eat because I think I'm hungry. I eat because I shouldn't waste all this food. After all there are starving children somewhere!

Sometime in the past few months I read one of those surveys people fill out when they're bored and think that everyone is dying to know more about them... What's your favorite drink, favorite pair of underwear, favorite holiday ... blah blah blah. But what caught my eye on this one was the answer to "What do you typically eat for lunch?"

She said salad and a yogurt.

Salad and a yogurt? WHAT? That's certainly not enough foo ...... Oooooh! (Cue the light bulb!)

I must have sat there for 10 minutes thinking about her answer. Salad and a yogurt. So THAT'S what skinny people eat! In-ter-esting!

I've had a few light bulb moments since then. And when you put several light bulbs together you're bound to either cut the breaker because it's too damn bright or finally get a clue.

Unfortunately I have run into another issue. I faithfully pack my lunch every morning. Yogurt. Salad. Almonds. Water. But the other day I ate my yogurt first (because I crave sugar) and after I finished my salad, almonds, and water I went berserk! I needed more sugar! In the back room we have a container of candy bars. Honestly, my issue wasn't if I should or not ... my issue was "Which one?" And I couldn't decide. So you know what I did?

I ate two.

TWO candy bars.

After salad and almonds and water.

So, yes, my dear friend. That explains it.

I decided to eat the yogurt last from now on because I crave sugar after every meal. I'm an addict.

No, really.

I looked it up.


andrea said...

i'm so glad you blogged about this :) i'm with you on the eating for fun, when i'm sad, bored, tired, happy, etc. i don't know when that message was built into my psyche but it's there... LOUD and CLEAR. love you.

sue said...

I totally understand as well.. but you can do it.. and Andrea can too! I believe in you girls.. there is no easy way to do it and it does take work.. but if we all cheer eachother on we will all make it :) love you

Maureen said...

haha--food is definitely fun. You know, some people only eat when they are hungry. Why didn't I get that gene? You girls all work hard to get thin now, I'm busy getting fat for a while. I'll join you in about 6 months....

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh you are so cute Jacq. You just make me smile. I eat like a moron alllll the time and I'm constantly telling Kris I should be far far far bigger...I ate cake all healthy really...a couple carrots and a grape tomato. I love your light bulb moment! You are just so candid. It's things like this that we all do need to ponder and think..Oh yes, that's how that works...I wish you well on this weight loss journey or eating better journey, whatever it is you desire to achieve. :) Love you friend.