I watched the wind pick up a mound of dirt and carry it across a field just now. The dirt didn't have plans of moving, I'm sure. The wind just came and moved it. Wherever it settles it will still have the same properties, same abilities ... to be a nurturing place for life. Isn't that what dirt does? I think this is what I want to be said of me ... that wherever I am, I nurture life.
Except if it blows in your eye ... that's not very nurturing.
I don't feel particularly nurturing though. Except in ways I must be with a child. A dropped pacifier, a missing bunny ... I patiently look under beds and cushions until it is found. I am loving in many situations but there are still SO many times that I am not.
Having a family is like buying a spotlight and shining it on your heart. All the good and all the bad is revealed. My husband sees and experiences ALL of me. My daughter is an innocent bystander. I owe them deep apologies for the rest of their lives! :-P
This isn't necessarily related but ... one of my quirks that they must deal with ... is my need for an I.C.E. plan.
In Case of an Emergency ....
FIRE! I don't want Julia to ignore the sound of the smoke alarm. I want her (at 2 years old!) to know what to do if she hears that sound. She isn't able to judge for herself if there is truly an emergency so we pretend that each situation is one. Every time the burnt toast or overflowing oatmeal makes the smoke detector shreak we immediately leave the house until daddy says it's all clear. Thom rolls his eyes at the measures I take for safety. He prefers to leave the battery out altogether.
CHOKING! I don't know if she knows what "choking" is, but 2 things I've done to help her ...
1. We have a money jar with a narrow neck so she can put pennies in but can't get any out. Since she was old enough to pick one up I've showed her what we do with money ... drop it in the jar. While it hasn't stopped her from putting a few nickels in her mouth, she at least has the knowledge of where they DO belong.
2. When she swallows wrong and coughs I tell her "if you're choking you need to come find me and I can help you." The other day she was eating crackers and started coughing. With teary eyes and red cheaks she ran over to me ... so thankful! When she chokes for real I won't be able to hear her and it terrifies me.
I know I can't protect her from everything. I can't shield her from all of life's woes. But at least I can make things a little safer at home.
I want to be good soil for her to grow in. Someday my "pot" will be too small for her stretching limbs and she'll be replanted somewhere else.
Psalm 1 (with Julia specific changes!)
How blessed is the girl who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But her delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law she meditates day and night. She will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever she does, she prospers.