Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Refreshing in more ways than one

So I have a pit problem. You know the kind that you're SURE everyone else is aware of, except, they're probably not. Because on any given day if you stand a little closer, you'll probably notice. And back away. Nobody likes stinky pits. Well - except for our cat. She's weird. But on a normal day with normal deodorant wear, I tend to have stinky pits. Stinkier than most.

So then there's today. Normal getting-ready activity at home, normal leaving-for-work-goodbye's, and normal doing-my-job things when suddenly I get a wiff of something rotten. Ew. Must be this new shirt, I think. But a few minutes later it seems stronger and out of curiosity I stick my hand under my shirt and give my left armpit a white glove test expecting to feel fresh creamy deodorant but it's dry as a bone. And it's only 11am - I'm in big trouble.

I search my purse for my usual back-up stash of deodorant only to remember that I changed purses. I have every other necessity; Band aide. Tide-to-go pen. Gum. No Degree. No Dove. No Secret. No Sure.

I'm screwed.

I quickly look around the office to see what might possibly help me and grab the salt shaker and head back to the bathroom. Salt kills bacteria, doesn't it? Kind of? So I wet a paper towel, dash a generous portion of salt on it and wipe. I give the paper towel a sniff and nearly pass out. Phew. I don't think this will work. I search the break room and consider the things I find: yogurt? Probably not. Might make it worse. Soda? Eh, too sticky. Tea bags? Hmm. Might just work!

Eyeing two bags of Peppermint Herb Tea I notice the tag line, "refreshing blend with the cool taste of peppermint". Yes. This is what I need! The cool SMELL of peppermint. I open the first bag and place it in the center of my armpit and wrap the string around my bra strap so it won't accidentally fall to the ground while I'm handing papers to my boss. Ah! After securing the second tea bag I notice I am feeling the "refreshing blend". My armpits are now cool and tingly - never before has a deodorant done THIS for me! All natural. Herbal. No chemicals. Cool. Pepperminty. Tingly. I love it!!!

I may have just started a new trend!

Who new Bigelow was more than just a tea?


Andrea said...

1. i never knew you had this problem... and i've known you almost my entire life.

2. i will probably never drink peppermint tea again.

Jacqs said...

Hahahaha! I've always had a problem with certain fabrics (like polyester) but ever since Julia was born I've had it even when I wear cotton exclusively. Part of the reason I gave up coffee. The acid was a SERIOUS addition to the odor.

Paige said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I will never think of tea in the same way EVAH AGAIN. Thank you for, um...sharing? ;) I love you!

Linda said...

I think you have killed it for me and peppermint tea too. You are a riot. Thanks for sharing this :-)

sam said...

This post made me laugh out loud. Thanks, I needed to do that!

Anonymous said...

yep... my drinking peppermint tea days are over.. dont think I can do it anymore.. and I never knew you had that problem as well.. :)
love you though :)