Friday, December 16, 2011

Reasonable Requests

Should we go back in? She's calling.
Your blanket needs to be fixed?
I don't want her to be cold.
Night 1: Open door. Fix. Adjust. Kiss. She sleeps.
Night 2: Repeat. She sleeps.
Night 3. Repeat. She sleeps. Lament. This isn't working for me.
Night 3: "No! Fix them yourself!" * Weeping and gnashing of teeth * She sleeps.
Night 4: Anticipating the inevitable, we say lovely things. "I don't care if your blanket is across the room, I'm not coming in here to fix it." She sleeps.


Should we go back in? She's calling.
You need a glass of water?
I don't want you to get dehydrated. You've been a little sick lately.
Night 1: Bring in glass of water. Kiss. She sleeps.
Night 2: This time she comes out for a glass. Kiss. Tuck her back in. She sleeps.
Night 3: "I don't care if you're thirsty - GO TO SLEEP!"
Night 4: Anticipating the inevitable, we say lovely things. "Unless you're choking and about to die, I don't want to see you or hear you." She sleeps.

Now, we run down a list of threats before bed. "No water, no blankets, we're not turning up the music, we're not giving you one more hug. If we see you or hear you call us, no matter what the reason is ... we're taking away your music. Then we're taking away your night light. Do you understand?"

What seems like the worst parenting ever to you, feels like the worst parenting ever to us. No one likes to deny reasonable requests. Water. Blankets. Soft music. It's all reasonable.

But it's insanity. It's delayed sleep. It's one more reason to see my face and kiss it.

Oh! That is SUCH a reasonable reason! To be kissed and hugged ONE MORE TIME.

And so, for the sake of sanity... I remain the worst parent ever. No more water. No fixed blankies.

Good night, dear child.

1 comment:

Andrea said...

i'm glad it's not just me.